A Dyspraxic Adults Journal

An Unexpected day

2009-03-07T12:58:00.001Z

I did a dyspraxia awreness training day for the Shaw Trust in Birmingham on Monday. At the Inclusion conference I commented that the Parogon Hotel is the sort of Hotel the Shaw trust sends me so as predicted I stayed there last Sunday evening.

I managed to Blag my way through quite an eventful day. I didnt sleep well the night before because I picked up an ear infection from the Gym I joined (so much for healthy living which has made me unhealthy).

I Asked at reception how far away the training venue was from the Hotel and was advised there was no need to get a taxi as it was only a 5 mins walk away. Was it heck! by the time I found it it took 30 mins. As a coping strategy I asked the Shaw Trust to print out my handouts and deliver them to the venue as I usually get them out of sequence as I dont employ a Personal assintant.

I arived deaf and without my specks which got stolen in the gym, to find that my handouts were missing and blagged my way for an hour until they were found. To cap it all just when it came to doing the Powerpoint prsentation my laptop refdused to speak to the projector and I had to just do the presentation from the Handouts.

I forgot to swithch off my phone so it went off in the middle so I cut the person off who phoned me. When I phoned her back my friend was in tears about somthing so I had to support her rather than say goodbye properly to the people that I was training.

In spite of this We got through everything that I had planned and we finished early Hopfully the people that I was training were impresed with the way I delt with the mishaps like a trooper. LOL and I dont get a poor evaluation.

The good news is my part time Travel training job with a Mental Health Charity in Bolton is funded until June and my boss is hopeful that we will be getting 5 years lottery funding to continue the project. I probably could get a better job but its not easy getting a job during the credit crunch and one thats suitable for my dyspraxia, as most employers dont give a toss about removing disabling bariers.

Long time no see

2009-02-19T22:44:00.002Z

its a long time since I kept up with my blog. i have become addicted to facebook so have neglected my blog.
I have been very busy working part time as a travel trainer. doing my MA in Inlusion & SEN and the Manchester Adult Neurodiversity Action group.
To hrlp my stress levels i have joined a gym but some asshole nicked them or broke them and threw them away when my back was turned in the changing room. so im getting some funky red specs soon.
I am going to do some dyspraxia awwareness for the shaw Trust in Birmingham a week on Monday.

Oh Mfanwy! I’m The Only Strait Jewess In Keshet !

2008-08-26T12:47:00.001+01:00

On Friday Night I attended the Liberal Shull’s Welcoming Pride Shabbat. I found the service very moving although I’m still finding Liberal Judaism surreal as I was brought up in an old fashioned Orthodox Synagogue, which discriminated against lesbians, gays and bisexuals. It’s about time Judaism was brought kicking and screaming into the 21st century!

I was invited by Keshet (Hebrew for Rainbow) to support them at the Manchester Pride Parade. I thought it was an ideal time to celebrate the fact that I am a born again Jew and to thank L for introducing me to such a friendly Jewish Community. I know what is like to be excluded and oppressed thanks to the hegemony of Orthodox Judaism. So I marched wearing the Keshet T- shirt and a rainbow coloured yarmulke in front of what looked like the whole of Greater Manchester! It was a really positive experience.

Later on we went for a meal in the Gay Village. I was sat opposite the Rabbi so thought it best not to eat meat in front of him even though he is defiantly not a stereotypical Orthodox type of Rabbi. Then I went to Kyoties with the women and the men Including the Rabbi went out Clubbing with his boyfriend. How cool is that a Rabbi that goes clubbing!

What a shame I’m the only Strait Jewess in Keshet or I could marry a nice Jewish girl! It’s like ‘the Well of Loneliness’ in reverse!

Liberal Judaism

2008-08-02T20:11:00.003+01:00

My Jewish friend L that I worked with on the DANDA commitee invited me to attend the Jewish Liberal Service at Cross Steet Church Last night. I was brought up in an orthdox shul (synagogue) and although I tried several times to be part of the Jewish scene by attending Jewish youth groups I never fitted in and spent most of the time in on my own both in shul and at discos. when I attended Sunday School and Evening classess known as Chader, I found it difficult to learn to read Hebrew and was treated like I was stupid and ostracised by my peers which made me very shy when I tried to mix with Jewish young people. I even went to Israel twice with a youth group, the second time on a kibbutz. and was socially excluded each time. I got on better with the Christian volunteers and had a Norwiegen boy friend called Ole.

I have only been to shul before because my Dad made me until I was 12 and to attend weddings and Barmitvahs. The last time after 36 years I went back to the shul my I was brought up in for my brother Rubin's 50th Birthday. I had fogiven everyone but this was quite traumatic as I had systematically been bulied for 8 years there. However I did not decide to rejoin the congregation as Im too set in my ways for traditional Judaism.

I looked at the Liberal shuls website and found as an anti-oppresive practitioner that thier values were similar to mine.
That:
"ethical injunctions to be of a higher order than ritual instructions, and
affirms the equality of each individual Jew, regardless of race, gender or
sexuality."

I obseved that disablity was not mentioned as part of thier equality remit, however I did not need to challenge them about this. as I was made very welcome. When I was offered a Sidur (prayer book), out of ingrained habits and the fact that I thought it would all be in Hebrew I refused one as I had come out of curiosity and had come to obseve rather than take part. The service was partly in Hebrew and partly in English and still had some simlarities to traditional services except women took part as well as men and a muscian very skillfully played the lyre. this is a sin in an othdox shul as musical instruments are not played on the sabbath.

I noticed that some of the congergation were not reading Hebrew script and had Hebrew tranlations in English script. One lady had her translation in large print and another had her's printed on green paper. I began to enjoy the service finding it very spiritual and wished that I had accepted a Sidur. I was asked afterward if the reason that I had refused a Sidur was because I needed the translations and if I came again they would provide me with one. it seems that L and her fiance B and I are not the only NDs in the village!

After years of indoctrination I felt very guilty (as writing on shabat is a taboo in Orthdox Judaism, especially in Shul) when I was asked to write down my contact details in the Church which had become a shul for the evening. I was made very welcome at the Kiddish (blessing over the Wine and Challa bread) afterwards. I have decided to increase my social network by embracing Liberal Judaism. My mum is very pleasamtly suprised and pleased as it as I could have decided to embrace Christianity or Islamism which would have realy upset her and is very curious about attending a liberal service.

Hege, Mony & Gramci

2008-08-02T19:53:00.003+01:00

When It was realy hot earlier in the week i had my livingroom windows open. I heard a strange crackling sound and when I looked outside, I saw at first what looked like 2 fat rats eating the dried catfood I leave outside for Mac the stray entire mackrel Tomcat who begs food of me. I realised that it was two young hedhogs tucking into the cat buscuits. I have not done any gardening for ages and now have 3 wild hedgehogs living in the bush in my front garden. so I feed them every night and observe them. I have decided to call them Hegy, Mony and Gramci.
when I workout how to save my pictures of Hegy & Mony that I have taken on my Work mobile phoneI will provide a picture of them. My own cats Bella and Geraldine are not happy about the hedgehogs and Gordy had prickle shaped scratches on his nose. Mac is furious but can do nothing about it.

What a Contrast compared to the job feedback experience

2008-07-28T08:52:00.002+01:00

On Wednesday, I delivered a 3 hour workshop on Dyspraxia/ ND awareness for the mental health Charity that I work for. I found that I was very nervous delivering training to people that I work with, especially in front of my boss, the PCT boss, 2 exective commitee members, colleuges and 2 members who are ND. I deliberatly missed out my autobigoraphical experiences and had prepared enough material for a day rather than 3 hours.
The session went very well and I got realy postive feedback from my boss and coleauges who all enjoyed my informal relaxed style of teaching. The few Criticism was the powerpoint handout had pages missing and was in the wrong order for two people. This was because I did not set the photocopy to collate and had to sort them out myself rather than waste paper by doing it all again.
This was a complete contrast to the interview feedback that I got at the Jewish Orthdox Special needs college. My Tutor from the PGCE now the PGDE has sent the college a letter say what a pity that the college missed an oportunity to employ a gifted and talented teacher!

Excuse me while I have a rant!!!

2008-07-16T23:23:00.000+01:00

I applied for a part time Job a Jewish Orthodox special needs young adults with a wide range abilities college run by Gentile staff. I deliberately disclosed my dyspraxia in a positive way so that if this was a problem to my interviewees, they could find an excuse not to employ me. To avoid history from repeating itself and that I would be told that I was ‘a nice Girl but just not suitable’ and be back to square one with low self esteem and back on Incapacity Benefit. I had my suspicions when I asked for the application form in electronic format. I did not get it for 3 days so could not fill it in on my days off work and only had the weekend to do it before the Monday deadline, then email it to them. I was not allowed an extra day to fill in the form as getting the form late was a disadvantage. However I managed without getting anyone to proof read it or give me feedback to get short listed for an interview.

Part of the interview was to give a 20 min Micro teach on how to iron for entry level 1-3 in independent living skills which after an internet search I found was a BTEC Edexcel qualification. I found that this qualification involved other life skills tasks such as folding up clothes neatly etc, which in my opinion are not essential for a disabled persons independence and the course is merely another form of oppression to make disabled people conform to what the Government assumes is societies norm. Maybe if disabled people pass this it will save on direct payments and social services input if they pass this course it will prove that they are independent and save the labour government millions of pounds.

I am really appalled at the way I have been treated. Firstly although I differentiated my lesson plan to account for individual need and was not briefed until the last minute what my students needs were; it is ironic that by asking a dyspraxic person to teach other disabled people how to iron they did not differentiate the interview for me and set me up for failure when there were other tasks I could have taught them. When I got feedback from my interviewers, I was told that I was not selected because they had to stop my micro teach because a student had touched the hotplate. I did not realise this was why I had been stopped and though I was running over time. I had set the iron to medium to be on the safe side and as far as I could see the student did not touch the hotplate causing me to relive past experiences of being bullied at work and doubting my own judgement.

. I would have also had to conform to teaching in a Jewish Orthodox environment, which as a non practicing Jewess would have been against my nature as it would also be making them conform to something else that I find oppressive.

How dare they oppress me like that, when I have come so far!
They also told me that I had not shown that I had taught a wide range of needs and disabilities which is absolutely preposterous. I got no constructive criticism or positive feedback at all. They could have offered me more suitable work as they were looking for teacher in subjects such as personal development, self advocacy which would have suited my needs much better. So I’m glad I told them that I disclosed my dyspraxia to avoid any further oppression. I realise now that I have nothing to blame myself for and that the college’s disabling attitude set me up to fail.

DANDA 2008 'being yourself' Conference

2008-06-22T15:58:00.007+01:00

Yesterday I went to the DANDA 'being yourself' Conference it was very inspiring. Channel 4 were filiming parts of it for thier programe on Autism Rights.
During Eleanor Ma Becknner's plenary session a ND motivational speaker who talked about Postively managing your ND/Dyslexia. She used the icebreaker pairing us up to idea storm outragously creative things we could do with a paperclip. A woman in her mid 20s- early 30s whom was sat in the front row oblivious to the camera took Elenor at her word and blurted out that the paper clip could be used to stimulate a female part of her anatomy.
I found Elanor's talk very inspiring and bought her relaxation CD managing your dyslexia with confidence. Although my self confidence has dramatically improved since the days I worked at the Day Centre from Hell it still needs working on. Its early days yet to decide if it has worked but it did help me to sleep better.

At the conferenceI facilitated 2 very sucessful workshops sharing experiences of living with ND
My first session was filmed by Channel 4 the group were very reponsive and being an oportunist and premotor of self advocacy for other NDs I used my questioning technique which I had perfected on the PGCE Work Based experience, to the delegates full advantage. I asked the my ND Brothers and Sisters what mesegae they would like to give to the general public on how they could be more inclusive and understanding about Nuerodiversity. There was no stopping them. Im not sure if It will go on TV as some went happy about being on TV but a few signed the consent form for a princely fee of £1 for permission to be used for channel 4 TV programme.

Manchester Adult Neurodiversity Action(MANA)

2008-06-16T11:09:00.003+01:00

Due to the fact that Many people with dyspraxia have related neurodiverse impairments such as Dyslexia,dyscalculia, Aspergers Syndrome, Attention Deficit Disorders, Greater Manchester Dyspraxia Adult Action have decided to rename the group Manchester Adult Neurodiversity Action (MANA). Professor Amanda Kirby belives that 90% of Neurodivergents have one or more overlapping condition. this will make the group more accesable for all ND Adults in Manchester.

I am delegating more to the group so that they can be more independent as when I start the MA in Special Educational Needs some of the modules may be on a saturday.

Feet as flat as a Pancake!

2008-06-10T13:02:00.002+01:00

I nearly missed my appointment to the podiatary (Foot hospital) I have feet that are as flat as a pancake due to poor muscle tone assosiated with dyspraxia. I have had inner soles with arch supports which are helping. I get less pains in my feet ankles, knees and left hip but im even more limited to the type of shoe I can wear and cant stant the feel of elastic on my feet which sseem to be a feature of sensible shoes.
I also got my feet done as I have difficulties cutting my toenails and cut them so they grow in or a spike of nail cuts into the next toe and draws blood. The chiropody student advised me to ask my GP to refer me to free chiropody because of my co-ordination difficulties.

how far I have come since being medically retired

2008-06-03T13:26:00.000+01:00

On May 10th and June 2nd I sucessfully gave dyspraxia awareness training to 100 residential support workers at the Open University. I am getting some very positive feedback and one support worker stated that it was a good job that I couln't cope with catering other wise I would not be there to raise awareness of dyspraxia in such an inovative way. This makes me realise how much progress I have made in the last 8 years since being medically retired. I must overcome my fear of cold calling and do more networking for my Dyspraxia Inclusive Training Business.

Working for BAND has made me more confident aboput future employment. I have applied for the job as Community and Youth Work lecturer at the University of Bolton but have heard nothing so far but it was half term last week. Im also tying to get teaching in Special needs departments of local colleges. also Equality and Diversity Officer for Greater Manchester Transport Executive. Not bad for someone who considerd herself to be unemployable for 8 years. I now include the negative emotional aspects of living with dyspraxia when delivering my awareness rasing.

Yanna Hyman - A Nice Girl But Just Not suitable!

2008-06-03T12:19:00.005+01:00

My name is Yanna Hyman I am the unpaid co-ordinator of a Adult Dyspraxia group. I set up a self help group for adults with dyspraxia after experiencing medical retirement caused by disability discrimination. For the past 8 years I have empowered other adults living with dyspraxia and related impairments and raise awareness to avoid the same thing hapening to other people living with dyspraxia.

Although I am now confident and successful particularly academically this has not always been the case. I live with dyspraxia and dyslexia and probably Attention Deficit Disorder without hyperactivity which were not identified until I was 33. Because Dyspraxia often overlap with conditions such as dyslexia ADD, Aspergers Syndrome and Tourettes Syndrome people with these conditions choose to call the umbrella term neurodiversity.

The label a person is given is often what they have been diagnosed with first and often the whole picture is overlooked, instead of a holistic assessment. For example dyspraxia is diagnosed by a neurologist, ADHD and Asperger’s syndrome by a psychiatrist and dyslexia by an educational psychologist. It also depends on the speciality of each expert as to whether it is recognised at all. Often the real experts are those who live with ND.

I am now going to confess to the items I leave off my CV although this was not my fault but due to disability discrimination and lack of ND awareness in educational institutions and the workplace. This caused my neurodiverse impairments to become a disability. This caused several disabling barriers because my needs were overlooked and I significantly underachieved and believed I was an unemployable failure and was extremely depressed and disempowered.

At school I failed my 11 plus and found my self in the bottom remedial class and moved up to the average steam in Second year.
I found competitive sports and PE. a nightmare and I was always the last to be chosen for the rounders or netball team. I found it very frustrating that marks were given for copying the teachers’ work neatly off the blackboard and not for original thought it was difficult to write neatly, copy accurately and spell. I was constantly bullied by my peers.

I left secondary school with the types of grades were perfectly acceptable for my school but I realise now that I had significantly underachieved. My career
advisor Mrs Whitely who did not even know me well recommended that because I was "non academic", I should go into catering which proved to be totally unsuitable.

I was sacked from several jobs for not being quick enough and an inability to multi task when working under pressure in a busy kitchen and was told each time that I was ‘a nice girl but just not suitable’.

I worked on an employment scheme as a classroom support worker at a community college with people with learning difficulties and proved to be good at this. I went on to do a course for teaching adults with learning difficulties and passed with flying colours.

I then got a job as a residential Support worker with people with leaning difficulties but due lack of my own and my employer’s awareness of dyspraxia I found this too stressful.

I was redeployed into a daycentre with highly physically dependent service users in spite of disclosing I had co-ordination difficulties. I became very depressed was bullied by my peers and lost my self respect.

After 7 years I was then redeployed into a very busy open plan office which is highly distracting if you live with ND and I was advised not to disclose my disability, I delivered faxes to the wrong room struggled with the photocopier and put people through to the wrong extension number causing utter chaos. I was then transferred to the accounts department where in spite of my numeracy differences on the switchboard I was asked to work on care invoices which involved copying numbers down, so I ended up getting medically suspended on full pay until my employers decided not to discipline or sack me but that I should be medically retired.

I was so outraged about the way I had been treated that I went to the Internet and found out about the Dyspraxia Foundation. For the first time I realised that having poor co-ordination was not the only aspect of being dyspraxic, my other problems were not due to me being careless lazy, and stupid, but were part of my neurological condition. Through out my life assumptions were made about my abilities and hidden impairments. I was labelled as being careless, lazy and scatterbrained because it is not obvious as being a wheel chair user or using a white stick.

Yanna Hyman a Nice girl who’s very suitable

These assumptions have proved to be untrue. I have been awarded the Diploma in Community and Youth Work Studies at Manchester University and have been told by my tutors that my work was of a consistently high standard. I continued my on the final year of the Degree in Community Studies at the University of Bolton. This was followed by a course for disabled graduates where I taught my peers personal development and assertiveness and was given advice on setting up my own dyspraxia awareness business.

I then continued my studies on the PGCE in teaching adults in Further and Higher Education. My placements were teaching community and youth work at the University of Manchester, teaching the Politics of Disability module on my previous BA (Hons) degree and Stress Management for Bolton Association of Drop-ins (BAND) a bottom up led Mental Health charity in Bolton.

With the funding from my Disabled Student’s Allowance I had one to one support with a dyslexia tutor to help structure my assignments. I was given a computer with text help and inspirations assistive software. I never had to resubmit an assignment, only asking for an extension to complete assignments if this is necessary.

I am continuing my Studies on The MA in Special Educationial Needs at Manchester Metropolitian University in September 2008. Then probably a PhD researching either: If it is a myth that more males than females are dyspraxic or possibly the link between dyspraxia and mental health.

Since being diagnosed with dyspraxia, being medically retied and coming to terms with my learning differences, Instead of being ashamed of being dyspraxic and hiding that I am different from other people my life has been transformed from feeling absolutely worthless to being a confident adult.

Although when I first began continuing my education my tutors on the Diploma in Community and Youth Work reassured me that I was capable than doing more than just being a professional dyspraxic, the penny began to drop that I was not unemployable and capable of holding down others jobs besides voluntary work and dyspraxia awareness training, when I coped with the pressure of the full time PGCE. To supplement my income I am now working part time at BAND as a Travel Training Project Co-ordinator and have not once been told that I am a nice girl but just not suitable.

Being labelled ‘dyspraxic’ is no longer a major issue and is only part of who I am. However there are still many thousands of children, young people and adults with all types of Neuro-Diversity who unnecessarily have a very difficult life and as adults face long term unemployment, depression and anxiety, due to lack of awareness of Neuro-Diversity.